street evil

Gosh, I feel so bad. I know that everyone’s been so sad and disappointed, just waiting for my next post. Well, I’ve been busy but I’ve also been inspired!

This post is dedicated to those annoying people who stand on the sidewalk and try to get you to sign whatever petition they’re working for… Man, they’re out in full force right now in Boston: Greenpeace, Planned Parenthood, African Children’s Fund, Equal Rights… all of ‘em. It’s getting’ cooold people. Find a job inside!

What a terrible job!? I wonder how much they get paid, because you couldn’t pay me enough to annoy people for a living. Everyone hates them. They either get completely ignored, or yelled at. It must be such an awful feeling to know that when people see you they avoid you. It must feel awful to be totally invisible. I also feel sorry for the sucker who accidentally gets drawn into their web… Maybe they asked something like “Do you care about women’s right?” That’s almost gotten me before, because duh, of course I care, but then I snapped out of it and went back to ignoring them.  Or maybe they pulled out ol’ faithful: “Don’t you want to help starving children in Africa?” I’m often temporarily fooled by that one.

I’m not a mean person, but they bring out the worst in me. In fact, even when I really do care about what they’re campaigning for, like Planned Parenthood, it makes me care less because they’re badgering me to stop and talk.

I hate you.

Where do companies find these overly enthusiastic people? It takes a special kind of person, if you ask me. Don’t try to trick me with your cute little comments like “wow what a nice sweater, where’d you get it?” because I know what’s to come. I stop to say thank you, and tell you where I got my sweater, and you pounce: “Do you care about the Environment?” Of course I freakin’ care about the environment (don’t you see this reusable fully recyclable eco-coffee cup I’m using!?) but I don’t want to waste my time chatting with you about it! I find myself being a complete bitch to them sometimes. When they ask me these questions I say whatever comes to mind, like “no, I don’t care about the environment”, or “f*ck ‘em” when they try to talk to me about children… this is not the way I really feel, people, it’s just that I’m busy, or I simply don’t wanna stop and pretend like I’m listening for a half hour.  I don’t know you and I don’t want to talk to you. My main decoy is the cell phone. Anytime I see one of these vultures, I dig for my phone and pretend like I’m talking on it. They usually let me pass unbothered, but I’ve had some particularly ballsy campaigners who’ve still tried to stop me, in which case I said “um, excuse me! Can’t you see I’m on the phone!? How rude!” hah. Sometimes I worry that my phone will ring while it’s up to my ear and give away my decoy..

Just last week, I spotted one up ahead on my way to class and couldn’t get to my phone in time. She said something (I don’t even know because I was blocking her out) to which I responded, “on my way to class, don’t wanna be late.” Oh, wait til you hear her clever little response…… “I’ll write you a late note.” Uughh.

So I dedicate this post to them.. no, I take that back. I dedicate this post to everyone who hates them. Because what do we mean to them anyway? We’re nothing more than just another name on their list. They don’t care about us being in a hurry, or possibly being late to an important meeting; they don’t care about our right to walk undisturbed on the sidewalks! Leave me alone.

F you.

Sorry. This is such a negative post. I just had to get it out! I have a lot of really positive things to say too though, I promise. Like for example, how wonderful my Thanksgiving was (I’ll post pictures of my mom’s incredible barn/apartment on the farm), or how it’s the end of November and still getting above 65 degrees in this city notorious for it’s winters… More about those later : )

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2 thoughts on “street evil

  1. Kathleen says:

    love the post Caroline!

  2. Nora says:

    The worst is when they pull out photos! “Oh, here’s a picture of a malnourished dog chained to a fence. Your money could be saving it if you weren’t such a selfish bitch.” I always try to be polite and say I support the cause but don’t want to donate, but that rarely works. I will seriously go three blocks out of my way into an alley full of trash to avoid one of these vultures.

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